I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
