I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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