yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
