How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
