SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
