mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
