So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
