I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize