i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
