look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i've created a new STD.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Randomize
