seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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