This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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