how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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