he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
