i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
