P.S. I can't hear my feet
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
