I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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