To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
