and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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