im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize