Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
