how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
