what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I need water and some morals
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize