Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
