Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize