Sry I called you an 8
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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