i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize