that's an acceptable place to lick
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
