I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
