i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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