Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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