3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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