ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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