Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
its not stalking. its research.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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