Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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