I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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