I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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