I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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