a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
