i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
