Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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