I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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