She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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