kristin has been a bad kristin
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
