Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
