this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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