ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
