Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
