what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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