Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize