just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
