and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
