Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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