I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
True strength comes from lack of pants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
