We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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