Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
