Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
