Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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