FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
