Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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