He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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