O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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