Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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