is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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